Some Things Really Hit Home...

..And this one hit especially hard.

I have a good friend here in town where I live. Her best friend moved away many years ago, to where I come from originally. Now, when I make my way back to my home town, my friend often comes along, and we meet up with her good friend, who is now married with children. We have done this often enough that I now consider her friends to be my friends as well.

Unfortunately, something terrible just happened. Someone died. It happened fast, though gradual enough that we shouldn't have been as surprised as we were when it happened, but we were. And I have realized something from this.

Being far away from people you love can distance you from what's really going on in their lives. We have to make extraordinary effort to make sure we stay connected,regardless of the distance. There is nothing any of us could have done for Gord, but this whole situation makes me wonder what other things are happening in my friends and families' lives that I am missing.

I contacted my best-friend in Europe today, and my parents who also live far away. I need to do this more regularly.

Better Late than Never...

Once again - Happy New Year!

...hope this one is better than the last! Even if you had a great last year, all hope is that this year will be even better

As for me, looking forward to writing again, and looking after the homestead (including Signal/Angel - its a toss-up right now).

Since I started the tradition, and like it alot...here's where I step back and be thankful for what I have, because its all still pretty good. Here's a recap of the things I am most thankful for from last year (not in any particular order):

Friends to celebrate 40 years with
Lone's health
Shelley's health
Time to spend with Dana AND Blair...without the kids
Long journeys down steep gourges with my mom and peaceful moments along the boardwalk in Crete - and of course, big harry doctors with thick italian accents
Ender and Bean
SG-1 (AKA Tailgate) and sharing it with someone who loves it just as much as me
Heroes
The start of B&B's new life together
The no smoking laws in Canada
Soccer, playing it...and watching it with my MOM (go figure)
Adrian (& B)
CMBES revitalized and CCECE (mostly because it was in Ottawa, where I could spend some time with A)
Shannon, Mark, Heather and Paul...No Kidding!
Paul's great ideas for doing neat things
A really neat AIF project and colleagues that think I have something to offer
My house, especially with my new free couch
The people that gave me the new free couch
Changing white to taupe, and expert friends willing to spend their time Helping me make the change
Cian's long hair and Calum's Ss
Dad turning 70
Having 2 kids to call Calum (though one has 2 l's)
All Dennis's help
My first PhD student, mostly because of who he is
Still being a good swimmer
Karen's will to get through her crappy year (and her awesome sense of humor)
Kris...and Kendall, of course
Being invited to the Best wedding ever...and seeing Phoebe again
A more relaxed Katy
Walks with Daisy
Still being a part of the descomers
Getting to teach CS1003 and meeting a whole slew of really neat students

If I thought February was busy...

Imagine how I feel now...

...its been a whole year, and I haven't written a thing.

Well, I am back at it, and hope to stay regular here, at least for a while.

Here's to another great year of writing!

February Must have been busy...

...because its now March and this is the first post I have made since January! Let's hope its a good one.

I'm now reading Dr. Phil's 'How to Snag a Man'. OK, it's not actually called that, but it might as well be. I write about this because it is monumentous, for two reasons. First, I rarley (and I mean, RARELY) read. Sad, shortcoming, I know...I just can't get into most books I start, so I stop reading before I really start. No idea why Dr Phil's book is keeping my interest, but it is.

The second reason my reading Dr Phil's book is momentous, is that I have finally admitted I have to do something to 'snag a man'...i guess. I have to admit, for most of my life, I didn't really care that much. Life is busy. Who has time to fit someone else's wants and needs into it?

Well, I think, maybe, I do, now. Problem is, I don't seem to have a chance in hell of actually finding one to share my life. I'm still that busy person I was 5 years ago, and lets face it, I'm not getting any younger. So, not only do I have to find an eligible man in a small town who is caring, patient, confident and all that, he has to also be understanding of my endless need to work all the time. What are the chances? Let's be real.

Still, Dr Phil says there is someone out there for everyone. You just have to figure out what your 'Product' is and put it out there for someone to find. Apparently there is a middle aged man out there with enough confidence for the both of us, who doesn't mind having to take the time to teach me how to be in a relationship, and who is willing for me to spend as much time working as I do fostering our relationship. Here's hoping, because that about sums up my product.

I'll keep reading. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

Why can't I get a doctor?

(started in February - posted in March)

Anyone who claims medical care is the same accross the country has never been sick in New Brunswick.

It is impossible to get good medical care in Fredericton anyways, unless you have lived here all your life. I have lived here for over 10 year now, and just recently managed to find a doctor willing to take me on as a patient. Me, and 5000 others, and believe me, this Doc doesn't put the hours in to care for all of us!

All of this is very confusing to me. When I first arrived in Fredericton I started looking for a Doctor. I have now been to every possible doctor's office/clinic in Fredericton. They are all full - won't even put people on a waiting list. Intrieglingly, only once in 10 years have a walked into a clinic with more than 2 people in the waiting room (except for the after-hours clinics of course, which are always bursting with people who don't have regular family doctors). Same with the clinic which was finally willing to take me. 5000 patients, and never any more than 2 patients in the waiting room. What's up with that??

Well - here's what I think. There are no patients waiting to see doctors because there are no doctors working. I think most doctors in town don't work full weeks. How else can we have such a shortage here? I mean this is a serious problem. A person shouldn't go 10 years without seeing a doctor!

And now, I guess I have a doctor, but it is so hard to get an appointment, I might as well not even have one. I broke my finger last June and finally got to see a doctor about it November. That's right, kind of a waste of time after 5 months, but it was still bothering me so I decided to be persistent. What took the 5 months? Well, for one thing, the clinic never answers the phone. So after 3 weeks of phoning to book an appointment, I stopped trying, hoping that my finger would heal fine on its own. Wishful thinking. I had to actually drive up to the clinic in November to get an appointment, because when I started up again in November, they still weren't answering their phone.

Twice now, since I got a doctor in Fredericton, it has been easier to book an appointment and go see my old family doc in Ontario. So I guess I still do have quality medical care - I just have to drive 1400 km to get it. What's with that?

Anybody else have these problems?? Love to hear. Oh, and Mr Lord, if your reading this - good job (she says, extremely sarcastically)!

Election Day...

Geeze - what a great topic. I could write about elections all night. Why? Because this election has me infuriated and I like to spew about things that piss me off.

Before I go any further, I apologize in advance for anything I might say tha offends anyone. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I do respect that. Still, I have to question anyone who is comfortable with their vote this January 23.

What are our options? Well, we have the Liberals. The crooked, corrupt liberals who are inept at handling a bad situation, unless you think that making it worse is the way to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a Paul Martin fan! I had very high hopes for the guy at one time. Not any more. I get that it was hard to get anything accomplished with Stephen Harper riding his back, but still, I thought at one time at least, that PM would be the guy who could handle it - I guess not. I hate what he let Harper do to Canadian politics and let's face it - we have seen the face of our country's politics reer an ugly, ugly head and I doubt we will ever recover.

Ok, I admit, Harper may not be quite as 'Charming' as Stockwell Day, but he sure has that same 'sparkle' in his eye! So let's talk Conservatives. Apparently, we are supposed to believe that the leader of the conservative party believed in one way of life his whole life, and then changed his mind just before election time. Man, what a scary thought. Whenever I think of the conservatives in power I think back to Ontario's Harris days. That province will be forking out doe 'till the cows come home to pay off all the legal fees that they accrued as they got sued for illegal practices. And let's face it - the Cows aint coming home - mad cow disease and all.

Anyway, the thing is, bare-foot and pregnant in the kitchen, chatting with my gay neighbour who isn't allowed to get married, is no place I want to be. And I believe if our friendly conservative leader had his way, that's where he'd put me.

I guess that brings me to the NDP. While I have nothing against Jack and his gang, and rather like his wife, I can't bring myself to vote for him in fear of throwing my vote. Bad choices, worse process, awful situation - that about sums up what I think of this current election. In a word (or maybe not so much)... BLAHHHHHHHHHHH.........

Some Thoughts on Little Ones...

I have two nephews. Cian who is 6, and Calum, who is 3. When Cian was about 3 we shared a small experience that has stayed with me ever since. It was a minute interaction, something you might disregard as insignificant. But it has stayed with me, popping back into my memory every once in a while. So I am going to share it, and some of my thoughts that go with it now.

One night my sister and her family were at my parents home while I was there. They were getting ready to leave, which is always an adventure, and I offered to bring Cian to the car to help. Calum was not born yet. It was winter in Toronto, which meant that the sidewalk was icey and slippery in some places.

Cian wasn't quite sure how to walk on slippery sidewalks. My mom had warned us to be careful because it was slippery, and he listened intentely to the warning, but he wasn't sure how to 'be careful'. He had never walked on slippery sidewalks before, and he didn't know what to do. I saw him hesitating and told him if he stuck his toe out first, and wiped it along the sidewalk in front of him, he could ascertain how slippery it was and that would help him to ensure his footing.

From that moment on until we reached the car, he took a few steps, stuck out his toe to test the ice, and continued based on his assessment. He did exactly what I had told him too. I was amazed, shocked really. He followed my instructions precisely and executed them easily.

Why was this shocking to me? Well, I teach university students. And no matter how much I emphasize the importance of following my instructions, only a handful (across the span of many years) have ever been able to follow my instructions as well as my 3 year old nephew.

I think most of my students can't be bothered, though some are genuinely unable. Either way, it makes me wonder what we do to our young people that takes away this ability. I do understand that some of it has to do with independent thinking and all that. But even when it is in my students best interests', they don't follow my instructions. They don't even pay attention long enough to have enough information to make an informed choice not to follow.

I think that part of the problem is trust. To this day, I still see Cian applying the 'toe-test' every once in a while. Clearly, Cian trusts me completely. Because of this, he had no reason to ignore me, and all the reasons in the world to pay attention and follow my instructions. At 3, his processing power must have gone something like this: "If I listen, and do what Auntie Dawn says, I will be safe."

Clearly my students don't trust me. There thought proceses must go something like this, "This lady doesn't know me. How does she know what is good for me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz".

So, what can we learn from this? A few things I think. First, it is really important to keep the trust we have established between our children and ourselves. We need to make sure that we tell our children the truth, albeit some version that they can actually understand. We can't take short-cuts because they are easy for us. If they figure out that we have mislead them, they won't understand that we were exagerating/fibbing/pretending to know, just to save time or because we were tired, they instead will learn to distrust us.

Second, we must work hard to establish trust amoung anyone we want to pay attention to us. We can start by letting our students get to know us, at least a little, and getting to know them. Share our interests and some experiences. We can also let them know when we don't know the answers.

Maybe if I work at it a little harder, more of my students will stick there toes out before they walk on slippery sidewalks!