If you read this blog regularly, get used to these because they are going to be plentiful. I really, really, really, really, really (trying to use Shakespaere's '5 in a row' strategy for emphasis) hate bad service!
So I went to buy my parents a VCR for christmas. They don't want to buy a DVD recordable yet because they think that they are still overpriced and underdeveloped (which is probably true) but their old quality VCR is finally starting to kick the bucket (as you might expect after about 20 years of wear and tear).
So I first go into this big electronics store. I know exactly what I am looking for because I own one myself. After a 5 minute spew from the sales guy about how there is no such thing, and never has been such a thing as 'commercial advance' (a feature which my VCR currently has) I decided I would shop elsewhere. I try hard not give my money to companies who support any kind of bad salemanship. I mean come on, at least come clean when the customer says to you, "but I own one with that very feature..."
So I move on to a major department store (to avoid being sued I will try to remane generic when making negative comments, but will say it wasn't The Bay) and they have the kind I think I am looking for. I am glad, but to be sure, I ask for some documentation so that I can read it to check. Sure enough, the guy prints me out (from the internet of course, gone are the days things ship with user manuals I guess) a list of the product's features and "commercial advance" is listed so I am satisfied. One more check - I ask for a black one, knowing they come in both Silver and Black. The salesman looks all over the package for an indication of the color and can't find anything. He gets the young sales rep who "knows it all" and confidently says - "Oh, that one is black, its code ends in a 'K'" (like that was obvious).
Anyway, I take it, my parents open it on christmas and I set it up for them. A silver VCR without 'commercial advance' - go figure. I guess that means I won't be shopping at - - anymore. The problem is, I have had bad service pretty much everywhere I have shopped now. Is there any place left???
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Update on Being Loud
So I started the loud discussion (see prior entry "Why do I always feel so Crappy") with some family members. Very interesting discussion.
For those who don't want to bother reading the entire prior post, the basic question is - When engaging in converstation/discussion/argument, why is it right to be calm and wrong to be loud and overly passionate?
Interesting results. Especially since my sister (loud) and her husband (calm) were centerpoints in the discussion. My brother-in-law's main points were these: 1) calm people won't listen to loud people so loud converstations are inefectual in these circumstances and 2) loud people are irrational and get nothing accomplished.
I argue that neither are good enough reasons for the calm people to be right and the loud people to be wrong, and so does my sister (who incidentally, isn't really all that loud - most probably wouldn't even consider her to be loud). Here's my counter argument:
1) While I agree that conversation is inefectual if someone isn't listening, that doesn't necessarilly lay blame on the talker. I think calm people have just as much responsibility to learn to listen to loud people as loud people have to talk calmly to calm people. Intriegingly, when having a nice calm discussion about it, most people agree, yet put in the opportunity - it all falls to pieces.
2) Loudness is not necessarily a sign of irrationality. In fact, I would argue it is more often a sign of passion. And passion isn't always irrational. My sister and I could site many examples where we got louder and louder as we progressed through an argument and eventually ended up at a "Yes Yes, now I see" moment. That's not to say loudness is never irrational because for certain it is. But, let me tell you, a lot of crap can be spewed very calmly.
There it is. I will leave you with this profound statement made by a renegade Monkey from New York, "If you have any poo, fling it now"...
For those who don't want to bother reading the entire prior post, the basic question is - When engaging in converstation/discussion/argument, why is it right to be calm and wrong to be loud and overly passionate?
Interesting results. Especially since my sister (loud) and her husband (calm) were centerpoints in the discussion. My brother-in-law's main points were these: 1) calm people won't listen to loud people so loud converstations are inefectual in these circumstances and 2) loud people are irrational and get nothing accomplished.
I argue that neither are good enough reasons for the calm people to be right and the loud people to be wrong, and so does my sister (who incidentally, isn't really all that loud - most probably wouldn't even consider her to be loud). Here's my counter argument:
1) While I agree that conversation is inefectual if someone isn't listening, that doesn't necessarilly lay blame on the talker. I think calm people have just as much responsibility to learn to listen to loud people as loud people have to talk calmly to calm people. Intriegingly, when having a nice calm discussion about it, most people agree, yet put in the opportunity - it all falls to pieces.
2) Loudness is not necessarily a sign of irrationality. In fact, I would argue it is more often a sign of passion. And passion isn't always irrational. My sister and I could site many examples where we got louder and louder as we progressed through an argument and eventually ended up at a "Yes Yes, now I see" moment. That's not to say loudness is never irrational because for certain it is. But, let me tell you, a lot of crap can be spewed very calmly.
There it is. I will leave you with this profound statement made by a renegade Monkey from New York, "If you have any poo, fling it now"...
Happy Holidays...
...or whatever it is you might have been lucky enough to enjoy over the last couple of weeks...
Just wanted to take the opportunity to wish you all the best. Especially to Biff and the Gang, who I always have in mind when I am writing these days, regardless what I am writing.
Cheers to us!
Just wanted to take the opportunity to wish you all the best. Especially to Biff and the Gang, who I always have in mind when I am writing these days, regardless what I am writing.
Cheers to us!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Why do I always feel so crappy?
Ok, first off - I don't always feel crappy. All kinds of things make me happy and I appreciate all that stuff. I have a particular thought in mind with this question and here it is:
I have a friend, or at least a colleague I work with, and occasionally go for walks with. I think she is fantastic. She's original, principled, and people, everyone I know that knows her, really like her. Me too.
But I always end up hating myself when I spend time with her. And I really don't like that. At the end of most conversations I have with her, I end up feeling like I don't do my job well enough, I don't interact with people appropriately, I don't do enough for my country, other people's countries, or the environment, I don't repsect the rights of anyone etc.
Am I really such a lousy person? I'm not sure anymore.
My friend isn't in my face about any of this. She just has a way of making you think about these things, and I guess that's a good thing. But feeling like your a peice of crap all day isn't a good thing. I don't know.
Here's a specific example. This one has hit me before. Its recurring, so it might be important. My friend is really uncofortable during loud confrontation. She doesn't wither and die or anything, but she certainly backs out of discussions as soon as they start to get loud. This is a problem for me. I was raised surrounded by loud, Italian men who yell by nature. It is not actually confrontational for them, its just the way they communicate. All of my family (which isn't actually Italian) is like that. We get louder the more excited we get, and when we really get into a discussion, we raise our voices.
So many people think that 'staying calm' is essential and that you are losing control if you raise your voice. I do understand that yelling bothers some people. Me, I am the other way. Nothing frustrates me more than someone who clams up when something needs to be said, or when it is said calmly, matter-of-factly. This gives me the feeling that they are not even considering other alternatives. That they can only hear their own, calm and restrained idea.
The thing is, why am I wrong and why is the calm person right? Why should I feel like crap because I like to raise my voice when I am excited enough to talk about something. When I am one-on-one, I respect my friend's point-of-view and discuss things with her in the manner which she prefers. But when we are in a group, I let loose like everyone else and then feel crappy about it later.
I don't know what to think anymore about any of this. I like that ny friend pushes me to think outside my box. But I am sick of feeling crappy.
That's it for now.
I have a friend, or at least a colleague I work with, and occasionally go for walks with. I think she is fantastic. She's original, principled, and people, everyone I know that knows her, really like her. Me too.
But I always end up hating myself when I spend time with her. And I really don't like that. At the end of most conversations I have with her, I end up feeling like I don't do my job well enough, I don't interact with people appropriately, I don't do enough for my country, other people's countries, or the environment, I don't repsect the rights of anyone etc.
Am I really such a lousy person? I'm not sure anymore.
My friend isn't in my face about any of this. She just has a way of making you think about these things, and I guess that's a good thing. But feeling like your a peice of crap all day isn't a good thing. I don't know.
Here's a specific example. This one has hit me before. Its recurring, so it might be important. My friend is really uncofortable during loud confrontation. She doesn't wither and die or anything, but she certainly backs out of discussions as soon as they start to get loud. This is a problem for me. I was raised surrounded by loud, Italian men who yell by nature. It is not actually confrontational for them, its just the way they communicate. All of my family (which isn't actually Italian) is like that. We get louder the more excited we get, and when we really get into a discussion, we raise our voices.
So many people think that 'staying calm' is essential and that you are losing control if you raise your voice. I do understand that yelling bothers some people. Me, I am the other way. Nothing frustrates me more than someone who clams up when something needs to be said, or when it is said calmly, matter-of-factly. This gives me the feeling that they are not even considering other alternatives. That they can only hear their own, calm and restrained idea.
The thing is, why am I wrong and why is the calm person right? Why should I feel like crap because I like to raise my voice when I am excited enough to talk about something. When I am one-on-one, I respect my friend's point-of-view and discuss things with her in the manner which she prefers. But when we are in a group, I let loose like everyone else and then feel crappy about it later.
I don't know what to think anymore about any of this. I like that ny friend pushes me to think outside my box. But I am sick of feeling crappy.
That's it for now.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Wednesday is better than Monday for a change
Huh... Usually Wednesday is the hump day, but not this week. Maybe its because it was the last day of classes today. Hurray.
We are having a descom party tonight. A very adult like dinner party. Hope there's some youthful drinking to be had. Otherwise I will feel very out-of-place with all the couples and me. People say I am overly sensitive to being the only 'single' in the group. All the people who make this judgement are part of a pair, of course.
I'm not overly concernced with being alone. Most of the time I am glad of it. But when I have to go these couple things, and everybody is there with someone, so nobody but me has those akward moments with noone to talk with, that's when I wish I could find a decent guy. Of course, intellectually I realize that noone notices my awkward momemnts because they are all too busy being occupied by their partners, but still, the discomfort is akin to smashing your head against a brick wall.
OK, maybe an exageration. Regardless, the next time you invite your single friend to a couples dinner party, you might want to remember my analogy. I have no advise on saving your friend from the pain, except for possibly acknowledging it without shining a glaring spotlight on them.
I've had that happen too. Out at a couples party (aren't they all now - I guess so at my age), and my friend, the ever-popular hostess announces, "Don't forget to pay attention to Dawn, she's here by herself". Wonderful!
I didn't mean to get into this tonight, but while we are on the subject, I will digress into one more lasting bad memory.
A few years back, I was at a family Christmas function, just the kind of thing to get single-bashed. There I was, sitting in my parents living room, sippling innocently on a glass of red wine.
Then, someone, I don't even know who, announced something about me still being single. And another added to it. Before all was said and done, all 7 of my cousins, 3 out of 4 uncles and aunts, and even my mother and father had made some comment about noone willing to marry me. It amounted to a long list of Dawn-bashing editorials.
What really drove home the patheticness of the situation was the comment which finally ended it all. "I'll mary you Dawn", said supportively by my happily married 60 year old aunt. Thank God I was sitting beside my grounded brother-in-law who placed his hand on my lap, leaned in and whispered, "just keep drinking Dawn". I think I need to go see Dr Phil.
Here's to family, and being single at 39.
We are having a descom party tonight. A very adult like dinner party. Hope there's some youthful drinking to be had. Otherwise I will feel very out-of-place with all the couples and me. People say I am overly sensitive to being the only 'single' in the group. All the people who make this judgement are part of a pair, of course.
I'm not overly concernced with being alone. Most of the time I am glad of it. But when I have to go these couple things, and everybody is there with someone, so nobody but me has those akward moments with noone to talk with, that's when I wish I could find a decent guy. Of course, intellectually I realize that noone notices my awkward momemnts because they are all too busy being occupied by their partners, but still, the discomfort is akin to smashing your head against a brick wall.
OK, maybe an exageration. Regardless, the next time you invite your single friend to a couples dinner party, you might want to remember my analogy. I have no advise on saving your friend from the pain, except for possibly acknowledging it without shining a glaring spotlight on them.
I've had that happen too. Out at a couples party (aren't they all now - I guess so at my age), and my friend, the ever-popular hostess announces, "Don't forget to pay attention to Dawn, she's here by herself". Wonderful!
I didn't mean to get into this tonight, but while we are on the subject, I will digress into one more lasting bad memory.
A few years back, I was at a family Christmas function, just the kind of thing to get single-bashed. There I was, sitting in my parents living room, sippling innocently on a glass of red wine.
Then, someone, I don't even know who, announced something about me still being single. And another added to it. Before all was said and done, all 7 of my cousins, 3 out of 4 uncles and aunts, and even my mother and father had made some comment about noone willing to marry me. It amounted to a long list of Dawn-bashing editorials.
What really drove home the patheticness of the situation was the comment which finally ended it all. "I'll mary you Dawn", said supportively by my happily married 60 year old aunt. Thank God I was sitting beside my grounded brother-in-law who placed his hand on my lap, leaned in and whispered, "just keep drinking Dawn". I think I need to go see Dr Phil.
Here's to family, and being single at 39.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Its Monday and I am wiped already.
I need to spew. It's only Monday and I am already wiped. Have no really good reason. I guess the end of term can do that to you. It has been a rough one for me, though the teaching has not been overly demanding (I only taught 2 courses this term, compared to my regular 3, Let's hope this trend continues). So why has the term been so hard? Idle time leads to thinking, too much thinking...
I have been trying to suss out whether or not I am doing anything productive lately, and have come to the conclusion that I really have not. Oh, I am doing my job satisfactorially and all that. Got two papers published this year. Have 5 conferences lined up for the spring, and another 2 papers on their way out the door. Teaching has hopefully gone relatively smoothly (I guess I need to wait on my teaching reviews to see for sure). But none of this really means anything. Nothing life changing, nothing useful even. I need to change something.
I have been trying to suss out whether or not I am doing anything productive lately, and have come to the conclusion that I really have not. Oh, I am doing my job satisfactorially and all that. Got two papers published this year. Have 5 conferences lined up for the spring, and another 2 papers on their way out the door. Teaching has hopefully gone relatively smoothly (I guess I need to wait on my teaching reviews to see for sure). But none of this really means anything. Nothing life changing, nothing useful even. I need to change something.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)