Some Thoughts on Little Ones...

I have two nephews. Cian who is 6, and Calum, who is 3. When Cian was about 3 we shared a small experience that has stayed with me ever since. It was a minute interaction, something you might disregard as insignificant. But it has stayed with me, popping back into my memory every once in a while. So I am going to share it, and some of my thoughts that go with it now.

One night my sister and her family were at my parents home while I was there. They were getting ready to leave, which is always an adventure, and I offered to bring Cian to the car to help. Calum was not born yet. It was winter in Toronto, which meant that the sidewalk was icey and slippery in some places.

Cian wasn't quite sure how to walk on slippery sidewalks. My mom had warned us to be careful because it was slippery, and he listened intentely to the warning, but he wasn't sure how to 'be careful'. He had never walked on slippery sidewalks before, and he didn't know what to do. I saw him hesitating and told him if he stuck his toe out first, and wiped it along the sidewalk in front of him, he could ascertain how slippery it was and that would help him to ensure his footing.

From that moment on until we reached the car, he took a few steps, stuck out his toe to test the ice, and continued based on his assessment. He did exactly what I had told him too. I was amazed, shocked really. He followed my instructions precisely and executed them easily.

Why was this shocking to me? Well, I teach university students. And no matter how much I emphasize the importance of following my instructions, only a handful (across the span of many years) have ever been able to follow my instructions as well as my 3 year old nephew.

I think most of my students can't be bothered, though some are genuinely unable. Either way, it makes me wonder what we do to our young people that takes away this ability. I do understand that some of it has to do with independent thinking and all that. But even when it is in my students best interests', they don't follow my instructions. They don't even pay attention long enough to have enough information to make an informed choice not to follow.

I think that part of the problem is trust. To this day, I still see Cian applying the 'toe-test' every once in a while. Clearly, Cian trusts me completely. Because of this, he had no reason to ignore me, and all the reasons in the world to pay attention and follow my instructions. At 3, his processing power must have gone something like this: "If I listen, and do what Auntie Dawn says, I will be safe."

Clearly my students don't trust me. There thought proceses must go something like this, "This lady doesn't know me. How does she know what is good for me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz".

So, what can we learn from this? A few things I think. First, it is really important to keep the trust we have established between our children and ourselves. We need to make sure that we tell our children the truth, albeit some version that they can actually understand. We can't take short-cuts because they are easy for us. If they figure out that we have mislead them, they won't understand that we were exagerating/fibbing/pretending to know, just to save time or because we were tired, they instead will learn to distrust us.

Second, we must work hard to establish trust amoung anyone we want to pay attention to us. We can start by letting our students get to know us, at least a little, and getting to know them. Share our interests and some experiences. We can also let them know when we don't know the answers.

Maybe if I work at it a little harder, more of my students will stick there toes out before they walk on slippery sidewalks!